The Man-ual is here! Perfect gift for Xmas!

How it all began…..

My friend Kolbi came to visit me about 3 years ago on a visit to Europe and it was during that visit that the idea for this book was born. Kolbi and I met back in 1999 when we were both working on cruise ships and enjoying our single life. We used to meet up every night outside our cabin door, sit in the corridor and discuss our daily adventures with the ladies over one last drink. Laughing about our experiences and living in the moment. The conversations always ended with dreams of success, and we would discuss different ventures and business ideas that would make us rich. We were young and at the top of our game, the whole future ahead of us. It’s obvious to say that we became great friends and our paths continued to cross long after we left the ships... and so it was during this visit back in 2007 that the Man-ual was born.

It was a rare, sunny, Saturday afternoon in London and Kolbi and I decided to go have a beer and demolish some golf balls at the driving range. He was only stopping by for a week so it was essential to get in as much male bonding time as possible. We picked up our bucket of balls and with a couple of bottles of beer in our hand, headed up to the second tier of the driving range. As we spanked the balls out onto the field, most of them nowhere near where we wanted them to go, our conversations spilled out freely and we reminisced about the good days and the good times. Neither of us really paid any attention to the distance or accuracy of our game, but more about the details of our experiences since we last saw each other.

Then it happened, a random moment in our conversation that suddenly developed into gold. I stepped away form the striking area toward the small table and chairs that were fixed inside our booth, and as I reached down to grab my beer from the table, realized that I didn’t actually know which one was mine. Kolbi had already stood up and was almost ready to swing. I looked over at him and asked him which one was mine. His response: “Your beer is always the fullest, its in the Man-ual buddy.” As he said it he looked toward the field and spanked that ball perfectly! I looked over to him as he walked back and said; “ Kolbi, Where is this fucking manual and why hasn’t anyone actually wrote it.”

We begun reeling off questions about events and situations that would always end with a unified answer followed by “It’s in the Man-ual buddy!”

This is that Manual!

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Get Some Sex!

You’ve got to believe! Yes, you must first believe deep down in the heart of your loins that you will get some sex. Without the belief that you can and will get the sex then you will never have the confidence or the drive to make it come true. Nothing gets accomplished without the belief that it will be done. No great man has accomplished anything if deep down he really thought that actually, it was probably not going to happen. It takes unwavering belief to make your desires reality, and if you go around wishing to get laid, then that’s all you will ever have; a wish. The word itself implies impossibility ‘I wish I would win the lottery’. Wishes are not in line with reality, so stop wishing and start believing. Edison didn’t just wish he could create a light bulb, he believed it. He knew he would do it. If you want to get some sex, then you first must believe and continue believing. Without this small little adjustment in thinking the odds are stacked against you. Believe me.

So now you believe, and every day you tell yourself ‘I am having sex tonight’, but despite your belief, you are still not getting laid. ‘What’s going on?’ you ask. Well how long has it been? 3 days, 1 week! Give it time buddy. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and like all great successes, it takes many failures and attempts before one finally achieves their goal. I said unwavering belief, not a half ass attempt at it. If you don’t quit then you can’t fail.

Another common problem is your internal dialogue: It’s the conversation that you have with yourself inside your head. It’s the voice telling you ‘this is stupid, I will never get laid’, ‘I’m too ugly no matter how much I believe’, ‘I’m too shy to get laid’, Well… guess what? Whatever you believe is true! That’s why this works dummy. If you allow these thoughts to dominate your mind then they will be true. Stop them immediately and change your thoughts, manipulate your mind and think only things that are in line with your goal. All you have to do is stop for a second and really think about it. I know a lot of ugly guys who are always getting laid, and by pretty hot women as well I might add! I also know a lot of shy guy’s whose belief is so powerful that women seem to just fall in their lap! Stop being negative and just do it. You have nothing to lose.

Ok, you have decided to commit, and everyday you look in the mirror and with absolute conviction, and unwavering belief, you look into your own eyes and say ‘I am having sex!’ You visualise yourself achieving your goal and you are in the zone! Wait a second…You forgot to shave and you smell of BO. This is not going to help is it? You now need to ensure that everything you do aligns with the goal at hand. What do I mean? Well… you wouldn’t go hunting for bears with a fork -now would you?! Belief is 80% the other 20% is to ensure that you are moulding yourself and your surroundings to assist in achieving your goal. Take care of yourself by smelling fresh and looking as good as you know how. Get out of the house and socialise, all the time believing that soon, very soon, you will be getting some!

The Approach –Making the first move.

Funny enough most men’s area of concern is 'the approach' and it is all due to anxiety, or more specifically the lack of confidence. The problem with this is, that as a woman they are naturally more attracted to someone who shows confidence (not arrogance), so by being anxious you are already losing her interest. This is obviously not a rule but it will be the outcome most of the time.

It is not natural for most people to start conversations randomly with strangers and hence adds to the lack of confidence when trying to do so. My advice is to build up your nerve by starting conversations with strangers at every opportunity. You will find it easier to approach people when you are not thinking about getting a date, or being rejected. Start conversations at supermarkets with both men and women to build your confidence and to prove to yourself that people will generally respond well. Make sure your conversation is in context; for example, at the supermarket, start a conversation with the person ahead of you by asking them how a specific product that they are purchasing tastes.

Remember that body language is 80% of communication so always smile and be aware of your posture etc. See what works best and then use what you feel comfortable with when approaching for a date. Be confident, but don’t try and change your personality, be confident in your own context.

What to say? Well I definitely recommend forgetting any canned openers. It’s too obvious and they have heard it a million times. Unless you are very confident and use it with humour, I advise to stay well away. Try to be original and start the conversation with a comment that they are not expecting. Ideally something that they will not be prepared for. I use to make comments about their outfit and say ' I’m not sure that those shoes work with that outfit! I know... risky, but it touches a nerve with women and I definitely get their undivided attention. After that it’s about laughing it off and starting the small talk. I also recommend not being so bold if you lack the confidence and instead use something like 'Do you know any other good bars/rest that we can visit in the area?

The opening line really needs to suit you and your personality and always start with what you are comfortable with. You have to be yourself, just a more confident, charming you.
If you are trying to pick up girls in bars then usually it is a good idea to look around with a smile and catch women’s eyes- by giving a little smile you can get an initial vibe of how you would or wouldn’t approach.

Hot Girls- contrary to popular thought, the hotter the girl the easier it will be. Bimbos aside! I’m talking full package, well dressed, good looking and friendly. These girls get hit on the least because most men are intimidated by them. Instead they usually get hit on by the arrogant or the drunk. They would be appreciative of being spoken to by a gentleman.

Success is for the Bold.

Why do Men Lie?

The answer is more complicated then one might think and requires in depth analysis and study into the Human mind, because at the end of the day, we are just Human, and to simply answer this question with a mere short article would not do justice to the beauty that is the Man Brain.
The real question and one I can easily discuss here in a few hundred words, is not ‘why do men lie’ but simply…
‘What is it that makes men lie?
The answer is just as simple, the answer is ‘Women’!
Now, obviously I wouldn’t just leave it at that, as that would be unfair and sexist, and would create a multitude of hate mail by feminists from around the globe, so I will briefly explain why ‘Women’ are the single most powerful reason for men having to lie.

As Men, we are simple creatures and as the only true Human Gender (women are from Venus or some other irrational thinking planet) we can live and be happy without the need to complicate every issue. From the very beginning of time we enjoyed Drinking, Sleeping, Hunting with our other Cave Man friends, and generally being happy. Until one day a woman uttered ‘why cant you kill a big bear like Ungo did, you always catch small bear’. That’s all it took and from that day forward our insecurity grew and we were forced to make excuses for our lack of skill, or our lack of intelligence or how much money we made. It even began to happen between men and we began to lie to each other about the size of fish we caught.

In all Honesty (haha), if it were not for Women we would probably not have evolved, we would not have endeavoured to catch bigger fish, to improve our lifestyle, to walk on the moon. Yes, we have achieved greatness because women and now men are keeping score. No longer can we blissfully go unaware about our neighbour’s accomplishments and live our lives simply being happy. We are now forced to cover up our inadequacies and enhance the truths so that we may be regarded as Men.

This effect has multiplied through the years and we now lie about the simplest of things always in an effort to cover up our mistakes, our insecurities. It is why we lie about how many beers we drank, how much money we spent, or even how good we are at our jobs. We do it because we do not want to be less of a man. The ironic thing is that you are perpetrating the problem, and in fact should be proud of who you are and what you do. Stop the insanity and enjoy your life the way you want to.

In summary it is women who drive us to be more and if you generally need to lie often, then maybe you too believe that you can be more and are selling yourself short. Maybe you should drink less, and maybe you should save more money. If we think about it we lie to be Men, but in fact we are lesser men for it. If you like being broke and lazy than be honest, but if you are compelled to lie then it is because you want more out of life and hence should go out and get it, and the next time you are asked why you lie, just simply reply ‘Because I want to be a better man’!

Disagree? Let me know your thoughts!